Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Madam Clio's House of Pain: Fail, Fail, Epic Fail!

Or Another Cautionary Tale About the Danger of Faux Leather

Oh my. I do not quite know where to begin with this project. The unexpected results are pretty shocking and horrifying. So for those who faint easily or have a pace maker, you may want to just come back in a few days when I have resumed blogging about couture camis and knit hippos.  But if you want to persist in reading this post, perhaps we should come up with a safe word? Yes? OK. Just yell "bobbin" if you can't take any more torture. Here we go.

This sewing adventure started out so well...so innocently...

I muslined...


V8815 - Very Easy Vogue peplum top


I made changes to the pattern....



I added length and a little bust width

I picked nice fabric...

I decided to make the top with a faux leather front and ponte knit back with an exposed zipper. I'm loving the leather top trend. And peplums.  I was thinking it would be chic and edgy; the kind of top that I could wear with a pencil skirt, pumps and some great accessories for a night out, or maybe even to a work-related cocktail party or dinner.

BUT
(and this is a big but)

Sometimes the best laid plans go awry, and instead of chic and edgy, you end up with...


Madam Clio: My safe word is "bobbin"

...fetish wear.

Scandalous, I know. There's really just no other way to look at things: it is accidentally triple ecks. (Yes, I know that is not how you "spell" it, but the potential spam that spelling it right could attract is NOT something I'm prepared to deal with. As is, I'm shocked enough with the brazenness of this post. What can I say? I'm a sucker for self depreciation. And costumes.)

The neck, armscye and hem are unfinished, but I already know this is a disaster. One of the flaws in the pattern is how high the bust darts extend from the waist. I thought that I had added enough length above the bust to eliminate the issue I noticed in the muslin.  Apparently not.  And the faux leather is just simply too spongy/springy to really press flat at the dart point. So... umm...


Bulls eye! Yikes!


...the top is basically anatomically correct. Really, really correct.

It's worse in person. Trust me. And that is, of course, in addition to the stretch faux leather's natural painted-on look. Oy vey. Could this get any worse? Stretch was not a good option for this application.

Of course, the kicker is that the back is fantastic with a great exposed zipper.

Exposed zipper back. Alas.
 
As is, this top is not good for anything but a Matrix themed costume party or Comicon. (This would make an awesome Trinity costume, right?)

So I'm thinking about whether this top is at all saveable  - I love the back!

One possible option is to change the darts into armscye princess seams (thus eliminating the, um, unsightly bulls eye problem). I could keep the faux leather center front and make the two front side pieces from leftover ponte to tone things down a little bit, but still keep the leather feel that I wanted. 

OR I could buy more ponte in a fun color or print to make a whole new front. Although, I'm not much into prints. 

OK, peeps, if you have not yelled "bobbin" yet and are still with me, please voice your opinion. What should I do here? Oh, and if the whole thing makes you nervous and you wish I would stop, I guess yelling "bobbin" in the comments would be instructive. 

51 comments:

Clio said...

Oh my! I would definitely worry about this pictured being lifted and used elsewhere without your knowledge or permission. I am a prude.
I think if you are considering replacing whole panels in the shirt, I'd go with redoing the front piece in the same faux leather to make it roomier. Otherwise, I'd unpick the zip and reuse it on a second attempt at this pattern in whatever fabric/material you choose. I think Erica Bunker made this top in faux, back leather and it does look terribly chic. So it's at least theoretically possible!
I wonder if the muslin you made would be just right for a woven, like a brocade or something. Different fabrics make all the difference. This is something I don't really have a grip on yet myself. I can't even cope with slight differences in knits.
Good luck! I am curious to see what you d with it next.

Clio said...

OMG - I am laughing so hard! Safe word is bobbin?! (Genius.) It really is too bad you don't live in a Joss Whedon show or this would be perfect. But I really think this top has tremendous potential. Just needs a different fabric. Ponte would be great, I agree. I have a leather top (I didn't even make it so I have no excuse) and it manages to look totally sci-fi also. I do suggest that it might be best, if you want to mix ponte and the faux leather, to put the ponte on the front and the leather on the sides / other accents. Leather over boobs has a way of looking sci-fi under any circumstances.

Clio said...

I vote for princess seams with the center in the faux leather. This top has potential! (Or save it, dress as Trinity for Halloween, and make Phineas a long black trench to be Neo!)

Clio said...

That top looks fiercely fabulous on you. However, one can become darted by the bullseye factor...lol.... bobbin :) I believe this top has potential and the ponte would be perfect for the sides, with the center & back in faux leather.. Again you look wickedly fierce in that top... make it work.

Clio said...

Oh my gah, I'm so sorry to laugh at your pain, but... that is hilarious. But this is a fabulous shape on you! I echo the ponte idea-- what about a hot pink front? Or charcoal gray might look very cool with the black.

Clio said...

i would remake just the center front in black ponte and keep the sides leather. i think that might look cool, just leather down the sides. Charcoal gray ponte sounds good too =)

Clio said...

Sell it on Etsy. I'm sure there is a big market for... this sort of thing.



I'm thinking side or shoulder inserts with leather look the least fetishy. I'm imagining the top of the Matthew Williamson pattern from the 9/12 burda with a peplum bottom. That doesn't really help you with this pattern though, sorry.

Clio said...

This is just an hilarious outcome! Just the type of thing that could happen to me whilst spending a quiet Sunday minding my own business sewing...

I think yes to princess seams, maybe you could also try with faux leather in the side fronts?

But you can always sell it now on ebay with "50 shades" in the listing title?!

Clio said...

HAHAHAHA! I'd wear it to work (I work in a church office). No, I'm just kidding. I'd cut a peek-a-boob window into it, since my office tends to be too warm and I sweat a lot. I like the leather front panel/sides in ponte knit option, to rescue this top. Also, "BOBBIN!!!!"

Clio said...

You are too funny! That zipper is perfect! What a tragedy when you have done incredible work in sewing but the outcome has undesirable styling. I hope you can sell it on eBay or esty and make some Catwoman purr with delight!

Clio said...

Other than the dart point issue, I really kind of like it. Then again (full confession time), I have been known in my murky past to frequent goth clubs sooo..... maybe I'm not the best judge?

Clio said...

ROFL at your suggestions. A boob window! Why didn't I think of that?!?! It would surely distract from the built in nipples. LOL

Clio said...

Haha oh no! I've had my share of faux leather pain, so I can relate! I think you should switch out the faux leather for a beautiful cobalt blue fabric. I've been obsessed with the black and blue trend lately, ESPECIALLY with exposed zippers! The leather front panel sounds cool too. I do hope you'll save this one - the back is gorgeous!

Clio said...

AHAHAHAHA!!! I don't think Trinity looked this sexy! I vote for replacing the front with black ponte knit. I LOOOOVE the back!

Clio said...

That's exactly what happened... birds were chirping, flowers were growing, I was innocently sewing...

Clio said...

LOL IU hadn't considered the Etsy/EBay potential...

Clio said...

It looks tighter than it is thanks to the fabric. I tried making it roomier and it looked sad. Sigh.

Clio said...

Exactly. It is sci-fabulous. But for the real world...

Clio said...

LOL, there are murky parts of everyone's past. It's those without that you have to beware of...

Clio said...

Yeah, I originally bought this fabric to make leggings....

Clio said...

Fortunately/unfortunately I already have a peplum top with the blue/black combination. One time when I am thwarted by my RTW!

Clio said...

The fit is so good, buy more ponte and keep this one for your next Halloween party, scifi themed extravaganza.
Thanks for the laugh!

Clio said...

LOL - I am so glad I amuse you all. My pain is your punchline. This mishap was too good not to share. ;-)

Clio said...

Yes, this is custom fit sci-fi wear.

Clio said...

LMAO! Sorry but those ah bust dart points..... I was going to suggest a girly long swishy floaty skirt, sandals and serious jewellery could tone it down but not with the dart, um, precision. Definintely etsy or remake with ponte front. I love the idea of this with Kline's suggested leatherette accents. Gorgeous back.

Clio said...

"precision" - that's an *excellent* word for it. ROFL

Clio said...

Oh sweet merciful heavenly days! This is so so funny- Thanks for sharing the dark side of the craft lounge.

Clio said...

I think it has potential! and princess seams are the go. The back is really great and I think you should save it. I would cut the neckline a bit deeper so it doesn't look so 'madam'.

Clio said...

Great post, not going to ask why you own a fluffy whip thing! The fit is really flattering overall though so it would be a shame to waste all your hard work. I think I would keep the back and just remake the front in another black fabric, maybe binding the neck & armscyes with the faux leather to tie it in a bit.

Clio said...

I hate to laugh when sewing goes wrong, but that photo is hilarious! I feel like the pattern would look great in a ponte knit, but I don't know if there is any saving the faux leather. Unless you get a knit for the top and use the leather as the peplum only? That would probably look more polished and less scifi convention, but still keep a bit of the edge. I feel your pain though - I have had a few of these epic fails, but I haven't been so bold as to post them on the internet!

Clio said...

OMG Mistress Clio. This is hysterical. I will be giggling for days over this. If it makes you feel any better, I would not have seen this outcome either. Buy more black ponte and change out the faux leather. BTW, those are some serious high beams.


I second the question, why do you have a feathered whip thingy. I want the deets.

Clio said...

I think side princess panels in black ponte are the way to go. It'll tone the whole thing down.

Brilliant post!

Clio said...

tee hee hee! Love the pictures!! Even if they do display some rather pointed, erm... yeah. Kudos to you for picking the right moment to retire it, sometimes its hard, other times its not so! Me? I would probably move onto something more... sweet ;-)

Clio said...

Thanks be that I tried it on before finishing the neck, armscye's and hem!

Clio said...

Ha! Actually, Allison deliberately didn't ask about the crop. Long long ago, when I was engaged, my excellent friends threw me an awesome lingerie shower/bachelorette party. There were many naughty gifts. ;-)

Clio said...

Clearly the feathered thing is the latest in, um, cat toys. ;)

Clio said...

He he he. (Bachelorette party gift is the short answer). Exactly! After I went to the effort of muslining, it seem like I should try to save it. Leather at the neck and armscyes is a good idea if I can't make it work otherwise.

Clio said...

LOL What great pictures, and your facial expressions! My first LOL moment of the day! I love the back, too, so I'd suggest what you're already thinking.... remake the front in a different fabric.

Clio said...

Last night I liberated the lovely back from the heinous front! Yay. Is there anything more torturous than picking out black stitches on black knit fabric?

Clio said...

omg, i am literally shrieking at my desk in laughter right now. i am sure that you will be able to salvage something, especially since that back is super-dreamy.

Clio said...

maybe change it to princess seams. That can probably save it. + princess seams are much more forgiving than regular darts

Clio said...

Bwahahaha this is the best thing ever! I was seriously doubtful if all the warnings at first were necessary, then I scrolled down and was happily surprised. I really do hope you save this with princess seams, as that back exposed zipper is too fantastic to lose!

Clio said...

BOBBIN! You have to salvage this top though. The back looks amazing, and if the front was in ponte, would you even have to change the darts to princess seams? I like the idea of faux leather side front panels too, but then you would still have leather over your boobs.

Clio said...

Very hot. Change the darts to PS and wear it with a white (tailored fine cotton or blousey light silk/chiffon) shirt on the inside. Anything with a slightly overdone collar (frilly/bow/larger points) will detract from the pleather look and 'class' it up. Turn it into sexy librarian with secrets instead.

Clio said...

Too bad it's not quit what you envisioned. You do look fierce in it though.

Clio said...

I see your point. TLo often point out that leather tops create uniboob and I'm inclined to agree

Clio said...

Two points, actually (bah dum dum). Yeah, I love TLo. They are usually right.

Clio said...

That's a good idea that I hadn't thought of!

Clio said...

Oh my. That is awesome, but yes, difficult to wear in real life. I am in favor of the ponte side front panel princess seam option. You'll be a big hit at Comicon, though. You won't even need the purple wig!

Clio said...

LOL. I would not leave the house in this unless I was fully disguised!

Clio said...

Clearly I'd missed this post! HILARIOUS. I think it would make a really awesome superhero/villain type costume!