Friday, December 13, 2013

Now with Four Times the Fail for Your Viewing Pleasure

Last weekend was an epic fail. Sometimes things just don't go your way with knitting and sewing and baking. I'm usually pretty good at planning my projects and having successes. But every so often I get hit with a whammy or two... or four... 

First up, a few weeks ago I bought some 100% genuine Ewok fur.

The poor muppets that had to die for my fur!

Um. yeah.  I had been looking for sweater knits, but this is undeniably better, don't you think? It's faux fur with vinyl/rainwear spots.



 
Unlike she who enabled me into buying this fabric, I decided that for such an over the top fabric, I needed a simple pattern. Enter Burda 12-2010-101




I was seduce by how simple this pattern is to sew: just a front, a back and sleeves.  But, oh my, how (1) boxy on my figure and (2) not so easy to fit! Seams and darts - these are a curvy gal's friends. How did I forget that straight lines are not for me? Sigh.


Drag lines say we need an FBA

I graded out at the hips and now they are puffy. Oy.



Shoulder point in wrong place

And I decided I didn't really like the drop shoulders on me; they just looked sloppy. But taking them in led to all kinds of problems...


Ouch - really really binding.

Binding and pulling. Just not good.

Could I redraft the entire armscye, back and sleeve? Well, yes. But overall, this is how I ultimately feel about this pattern on me/my figure:


Frankenface.

Yeah. This gets a rousing meh from me. On someone who is a little more proportional, I think this could be chic. But on me, I think it just isn't going to work without significant alteration, which sort of defeats the point of this being an easy pattern.

Thank goodness I muslined!

Next, I cast on a new knitting project as a palette cleanser.

This is Habu textiles Kibiso silk (L) and silk stainless steel (R) yarns.The kibiso is made from waste silk and the stainless is, well, like silk with a memory wire core. Both very cool.

Habu Kibiso Silk and Silk Stainless Steel


I was going to knit the Amime top by Kirsten Johnson. You hold the two strands together and knit on a large needle to create the open work.


Amime

Anyway, I cast on a bunch of stitches and knitted a few rows for a gauge swatch. It felt like I was knitting with barbed wire. The kibiso is so stiff that all my stitches were uneven. There was no way I was going to get gauge and it was massively unpleasant to knit even just a few rows. I can't imagine wearing it. I lasted three rows and then frogged the swatch.

SO, the next day I went to my LYS to see if I could find a different yarn to pair with the Habu Silk Stainless. A yarn bender ensued.


All for me!!!

I bought that big ball of red Malabrigo Rasta yarn to make into an instant gratification palette cleansing scarf. It knit up incredibly quickly into the Uroboro cowl by Stephen West.  Doesn't this look chic?



Yeah. I thought so too, despite Ravelry reviews to the contrary. It looks kinda cool when not being worn, but...




 Even when I hold it like the model, it is only so-so...





And when I don't...




Yeah. Why did I think I could make this work?

Hubris, my friends. Hubris.

Anyway, if you think that's as much fail as any one person could pack into one weekend, you'd be wrong. My last fail of the weekend was in the kitchen. While all this sewing and knitting was happening, bread dough was rising. I decided it was time to get on board with no-knead breads.





And look at how utterly awesome my bread turned out! Until you cut it open...



It's supposed to have big airy holes through the whole thing, like this. Unfortunately, mine only has holes at the top and is very very dense throughout the rest. I have no idea if this means that the dough was too moist or too dry. I suspect that it was too dry. (Phin thinks too wet.) It tasted ok, but Phin has started flipping through recipes for bread pudding and mumbling about the large supply of breadcrumbs.

I'm seriously the only person who has not made this recipe work on the first try.It's billed as being so easy a six-year-old could bake it.

So, there it is. My epic weekend of fail. Fear not; I am undaunted. I look at this as all my fails in one tidy little blow. And now I can move on to some successes this weekend. Cross your fingers for me.

28 comments:

Clio said...

at least no ewoks were harmed in the making of the muslin!

Clio said...

So first, The holes accumulating at the top is actually not due to your dough being too wet or too dry, it's due to not folding & deflating correctly in the middle of rising. all the gases were allowed to accumulate at the top, instead of re-activating the yeast. I do kneaded sourdough bread, not no-knead, but it's a similar concept. I just looked at your recipe and it has a folding step- just be a little more aggressive with the fold. :)


Next- I have exactly the same problems with dress patterns like that. Never flattering on me. That fabric is so cool, though! I would try something straightforward like a vest, or maybe a sweatshirt style shirt with a different fabric for the sleeves.

Clio said...

Perfect post for Friday the 13th! So glad you muslined that Burda. Might I suggest a cute little cropped jacket, no lapels? No opinion on the bread: I'd eat it!

Clio said...

perhaps the inhabitants of the air conditioned sections of hell have had their revenge. luckily you didn't cut into the muppet fur!!!

Clio said...

Yeah, me too! It would be sad to ruin this fabric. I actually was thinking that a cape might be the way to go, but a cropped jacket might be cute too.

Clio said...

Thanks for the tips! I'm going to give the recipe another try. Honestly, it wasn't a huge investment of time, so I'm open to trying it a bunch of times until I get it right.



Yeah, this fabric will become something awesome, but I'm definitely thinking outerwear instead of a shirt. But that does sound like a cool suggestion!

Clio said...

Nope, none at all! (Poor ewoks).

Clio said...

That fabric is amazing! So happy you did the muslin first. I am sure whatever you make with it is going to be a knockout - just need to find the perfect pattern first.


And I totally know how you feel when nothing seems to be working out. I don't know why, but it seems like when one project fails they all fail. Sewing highs and lows seem to run in clumps. Don't know why that is, but it is sort of annoying.

Clio said...

I have weeks like that, but I just hide the results. :( I have good luck with bread that has a very moist dough, but bread pudding , bruschetta and Ribolitta will use imperfect bread up for you.

Clio said...

The bread will make excellent french toast. Ask me how i know. Does the bread taste good?

I may have an idea as to what happened with the bread. The instructions say and I quote

"Remove the dough from the bowl and fold once or twice. Let the dough rest 15 minutes in the bowl or on the work surface. Next, shape the dough into ball. Generously coat a cotton towel with flour, wheat bran, or cornmeal; place the dough seam side down on the towel and dust with flour. Cover the dough with a cotton towel and let rise 1-2 hours at room temperature, until more than doubled in size"

I would ignore some of these instructions. I would gently pour/scoop the dough onto the floured cloth, and let it rise, I wouldn't bother with any of the folding or shaping. I think what may have happened is that the dough (maybe was handled a little too much, Did you use bread flour? Or maybe I know nothing and am just blowing smoke out my ass.



I wish I could be of help.

Clio said...

That's exactly what happens to me - all my fails are in a cluster. Usually, it's right after a bunch of successes when my confidence is high, like a reality check.

Clio said...

Good suggestion with the ribolitta! Yum! I have another batch rising right now (fingers crossed).

Clio said...

Honestly, I may have made a measuring error on the first try. I made another batch this afternoon and measured by weight (grams). The resulting dough looked VERY different than last week's. Fingers crossed. Also, I think I did over-handle the dough last week. So, I think you are correct on that point..

Clio said...

Oh, you make me laugh and feel sympathetic and glad I'm not the only one, all at the same time. Great fabric.

Clio said...

There are a lot of great facial expressions in this post, but the second knit cowl one may be my favorite. I think this all means you've got all the clunkers out of the way and you're ready for a big string of successes to close out the year! Nice seeing you last night, despite the bitter cold!

Clio said...

Oh Lord. How painful. I can totally relate to one of those weeks where everything turns to crap. It starts to get hilarious. I mean, everything you usually do competently and joyfully goes nuts.

Clio said...

It can't get worse!

Clio said...

Yeah, when even the quick and easy project you choose to just get back on track tanks, well, there comes a point when you just need to sit on your hands.

Clio said...

Great to see you! It was all so laughably bad... ;-)

Clio said...

We all have days, don't we??

Clio said...

Lucky it was a muslin - that is what design development is all about.

Clio said...

So, next weekend can only be better? Thank goodness you made a muslin, eh? I'll be going to the stitch and bitch on Sunday, by the way.

Clio said...

Hmmm, at least the bread will taste better as french toast that the muslin coat would. I've been doing bread making recently and for a few ingredients it sometimes surprises me at the variations we get week to week. Hope you try again since we enjoy the no knead version....and also enjoy our new sourdough starter that we've been using for two months.

Clio said...

It's already going better. And I will be at the circus on Sunday. ;-)

Clio said...

LOL True, although I hear that muslin has lots of fiber. I tend to take fails as a challenge. More bread to come...

Clio said...

LOL. Epic fail days seem to be part of a creative person's doom. :) But here's an espresso cheer (since it's morning) to a epic win weekend coming your way soon!!

Clio said...

Hope you had some successes this past weekend!!

Clio said...

It's really too bad the coat and sweater didn't work out, you had stylish intentions, I completely understand how something can look so good on someone else but not be right for you! Looks like your Christmas knitting and second try at the bread blew it out of the water. Can't wait to see what you do make of crazy ewok cloth.